Cause for Schism (Part 3)

When you are dejected, you can be really demoralized. Living with your colleagues you keep blaming yourself for lagging behind in your practice, by thinking that all of your colleagues have totally eliminated the kilesas, leaving yourself behind to be consumed by the fire of the kilesas. This was the way I felt when I first went to stay with Tan Ajahn Mun. When I looked at all the other bhikkhus, they appeared to be serene and peaceful, though their exertion didn’t seem to be that intense. But I, for my part, after finishing the morning meal, would go into the forest and practice until it was time to sweep in the afternoon. But I didn’t achieve anything. That was because at that time my mind had deteriorated and I was intensifying my effort to bring the mind back to its former higher level. My striving was very strenuous and intense. After having some conversation with my colleagues, I got to know them better. And when I had established some samādhi, I also got to know more about myself. I could see this clearly, so could my colleagues. How could they not know? Because this was a path that I had never walked before, when I talked to my teacher I had to tell him the truth so that he could correct me when I was wrong.

Once I had gained the strength of samādhi and been goaded by Tan Ajahn Mun to develop paññā, I then really exerted myself. Now the kilesas could not remain at rest. I would drag them by the neck and chopped off their heads. I would grab their arms, their legs, and chop them off. Once you get to the level of paññā, the mind will investigate continuously. It will start with the investigation of the body, to see it to be loathsome or asubha. This paññā that investigates the body is very aggressive and forceful. Once the delusion of the body is shattered, and you have fully understood every aspect of the body, the mind will then become satiated. It will then stop investigating the body. Once you are full, what is the use of taking more food? Or doing the investigation anymore?

What, then, does it become attracted to? Now it will mostly become attracted to vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra, and viññāṇa, with saññā the most important target, for it is very insidious. Saṅkhāra will just flare on and off, but with saññā, it will quietly permeate out to form a mental picture. It can subtly fantasize. You can’t help but being amazed by its subtlety. You then keep track of it, and then it cannot surpass the ability of paññā.

Once sati and paññā become automatic, or become mahāsati and mahāpaññā, then what can slip away from it? Once sati and paññā investigate incessantly and naturally all the time, except when being forced to stop, then this is called automatic sati and paññā. Even when you are eating, this sati and paññā doesn’t eat with you. It just keeps on investigating. This is how automatic the investigation has become. At this stage, all the laziness disappears. Sometimes you have to restrain it, or else you can die from exhaustion. You have to hold it back. Sometimes you overexert yourself until you are ready to drop dead. The entire body becomes dead tired. You cannot even walk another step, because during the night time you didn’t have any sleep, and during the day time you just cannot go to sleep. The mind just keeps on investigating continuously.

So I had to restrain it with the Buddho mantra by repeating ‘Buddho’ repeatedly and quickly, not allowing the mind to investigate and force it into calm. I had to drag the mind away from doing the investigation, which is the contention of paññā with the kilesas. It was not possible to tell whether I was using the sharp end or the blunt end of paññā. I was probably using the blunt end as I was so exhausted and tired. But the heart was still hell-bent on struggling with them. It was only after I had rested the mind that I realized what was happening. I forced the mind to take a rest by repeating Buddho very quickly and continuously, not allowing it to do any investigation at all. I really had to coerce it to get into samādhi, or else it would not get in. I had to really force it, but as it had already been used to coercion, it didn’t take long for it to be subdued.

It began to slowly calm down, and eventually it became very still. At that point, it seems like you have now uprooted the thorns. Your strength, energy, and happiness, seem to arise out of nowhere, and spread throughout the whole body and all over the heart. Yet even when it has rested in this state of calm, you still have to restrain it. I could not let go of the restraint. As soon as I do, it would immediately withdraw from the calm and investigate. I therefore had to keep on restraining it. It became re-strengthened. When I felt that it was the right time for it to investigate, I just let it go. It immediately jumped right back to investigate, and became totally involved with it. Now it seemed like it was using the sharp end, for it didn’t take long to destroy the kilesas. Therefore, samādhi is absolutely vital. When it is necessary to take a rest, you cannot afford not to. When the mind becomes extremely weary and dead-tired, it is not right to think that the results of your work can only come through your exertion alone, without thinking about the importance of resting yourself so that you can become re-strengthened and able to do more investigation. You should therefore take a rest, go to sleep, take some food, and not be concerned with the time lost from doing this, as it is for the purpose of re-strengthening your body, so that you can do more investigation effectively.

It is true with both the mind and the body. In order for them to regain their strength and energy so that they can further attack and destroy the kilesas, taṇhā, and āsava, it is definitely necessary for them to take a rest. When the mind has rested well in samādhi and is rejuvenated, then when paññā investigates, it will be like a sharpened knife. This is similar to a tired man trying to chop wood with a dull knife. After he has rested and the knife sharpened, then it doesn’t take too much effort to cut the wood in two. It is likewise with sati and paññā of this level. Once it has regained its strength and energy, and gone out to investigate, it doesn’t take long for it to kill the kilesas. You will then see the benefit of samādhi. This happens on a very subtle level of the heart. The kilesas are correspondingly subtle, and so are sati and paññā. They are all equally subtle.

The sati and paññā of this level are like water that flows very gently. The investigation of the mental objects—vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra and viññāṇa—and the investigation of avijjā are done by the paññā of this subtle level. This investigation cannot be done in a rough manner, like the investigation of the body. The situation will dictate this and you will know it when you get there. It is the same way when you shape a piece of wood. You first use an axe, then you use a plane to shave the wood surface. You cannot thereafter use either a knife or an axe, for it will just ruin the wood surface. It is the same way with the mind. What level of paññā should be used in the investigation will be obvious. You will investigate until you destroy all of the kilesas and see the truth. When the investigation is sufficient, then the mind will let go. If it hasn’t yet let go, then it is not yet sufficient. Once the mind has thoroughly investigated, then it will let go. For instance, when you investigate the loathsomeness of the body, you just keep on investigating until it is satiated. Then the mind will let go of the lust for the body.

In the investigation of saññā and saṅkhāra, where do they come from? They come from the mind. They deceive the mind, as they are the instruments of avijjā. So how can they not deceive the mind? If sati and paññā are not capable of catching up with them, then you will still be deceived by them. Therefore, you have to relentlessly analyze and differentiate them from sati and paññā. When you have investigated this many, many times, the investigation will eventually become satiated. It will first become satiated with the investigation of the body. Then it becomes satiated with the investigation of the vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra, and viññāṇa and will let go of them. So what, then, is left that it is not yet satiated with? What remain are just the mind and avijjā that are entangled with one another. But you do not yet realize this. This is where you get to see the subtlety of the kilesas.

When you finally come face to face with avijjā, you will see clearly that there is nothing more subtle than avijjā. You feel like you are staying in a tiger›s cave. When the tiger roars and growls, you think the tiger is entertaining you. Avijjā is like a huge tiger, but instead of being fearful you become submissive to it, loving it and are possessive of it. This is due to the subtlety of the kilesas. The true and genuine master and ruler of the mind is avijjā, but it cannot withstand the power of satipaññā. Although the satipaññā of this level will first be deceived by the avijjā’s subtlety, luminosity, bravery, boldness and the delusion that this is I and mine, it will not be complacent. Though it might be taking care of avijjā unknowingly, it is also vigilant and observant. As this avijjā is sammati, how can the subtle changes of this sammati not be evident to satipaññā which is constantly watching, perpetually investigating and analyzing? How can they slip through? Eventually they will be revealed.

Satipaññā will then use this avijjā as the object of its investigation, just like all the other objects. So how can it withstand? It will eventually be broken up. Once avijjā is shattered, the mind then becomes satiated, for this is the final fulfillment. The mind is satiated with the investigation of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches, and satiated with the investigation of the body, vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra, and viññāṇa. Once it has thoroughly investigated, it becomes full. All that remains in the mind is avijjā. All the bridges have been cut off. There is no way for avijjā to come out. It cannot now get out by way of vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra, and viññāṇa. Satipaññā now truly understands their nature. The inner bridge has been severed.

As far as coming out via the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches is concerned, this is irrelevant. There is no need to talk about these because the mind has already transcended them as it moves in closer and closer. What remains is just avijjā. Now it doesn’t have any place to hide, so it stands out very clearly, because everything else has now been uncloaked. The truth of the body has already been unveiled. The truth of feelings, be it good, bad or neither, coarse or subtle, has also been exposed. But the most subtle of feelings is still found within avijjā. After satipaññā has unveiled the truth of avijjā, then this most subtle feeling will disappear from the mind. As long as avijjā remains, this most subtle feeling will also remain. For this reason, whether it is correct or not, and speaking on my own authority because it is so clear within my heart, I dare to say that all the arahants who have already got rid of all the kilesas have no feelings in their hearts. I am not speaking about myself who is like a tiny mouse. How can an arahant have feelings within his heart? Whatever kind of feelings it might be, it is not found within the heart of an arahant.

Once the mind has become satiated with the investigation, it will stop. Once it is sated, it will no longer deceive itself. It will not be deluded anymore, not even with the state of purity. Once it becomes satiated, it will come to a standstill. This is contentment. It no longer grabs at this or that. There is no craving. This contentment progresses in stages by letting go in stages. Whatever the objects or conditions that it is satiated with, it will let go. It will keep moving further inwards until it finally becomes sated with avijjā and lets it go. The mind will now be completely satiated. Then all the problems come to an end, and there is nothing further to do. This is the elimination of all forms of dukkha. They will all disappear when avijjā is eradicated by the power of mahāsati, mahāpaññā, saddhā, and viriya which are like the most advanced weapon system. This is the end.

From there onwards, it doesn’t really matter where you live or what you do. Once the sammati within the heart vanishes, whatever you do will be merely acting. The day and night will no longer be significant. Likewise with the days, months, and years, or Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, or the Year of the Rat, or the Year of the Ox, and so forth. They are all suppositions. It is alright to play with them when you are not deluded with them. But to play with them when you are deluded is not good.

This is the story of a mind that had to wage an uphill battle, nearly losing its life, and nearly losing itself to evilness and corruption due to the influence of the kilesas, taṇhās, and āsavas. This is the story of a dogged determination. This achievement is not above your ability. All that you have to do is to be serious and earnest. The Dhamma teaching of the Lord Buddha is beyond doubt in its ability to subdue the kilesas. There isn’t a single kilesa that is sharper, keener, wiser or cleverer than satipaññā, which is the magga. That is why it is called majjhimā, which means suitability. It is suitable for the removal of every kind of kilesa. This is my favorite definition of majjhimā. There will be a time when you will eliminate all the dukkha that arises from your exertion that will eventually come to an end. When all the dukkha is vanquished, it will disappear forever. There will be a time when we will put down our burden that we have been shouldering so heavily. There is an end to our exertion. We will then live in bliss. Is there ever an end to the worldly undertaking? Never! Even at the end of your life. When you die you will leave behind your work, your friends, your relatives, your father and mother, your husband or wife, and your own body. You will die leaving your work incomplete. But there is an end to your exertion, the conquering of the kilesas. There is an end to it. When the kilesas have been totally vanquished, then this exertion will come to an end.

The Lord Buddha called this ‘Vusitaṁ brahma cariyaṁ’. This can be simply translated as ‘The end of your task’. The goal of the holy and chaste life is the elimination of the kilesas, which has now come to an end, because all of the kilesas have been totally eliminated. For those who have fully achieved this goal, their meditation practice from then on will be for the vihāra-dhamma, which is the maintenance for a peaceful coexistence between the body and the mind, and is left to each individual disposition and preference. For this practice has nothing to do with the removal of the kilesas. As long as the body still goes on, then there is still the necessity of maintaining it, feeding it, and giving it the proper exercise. This is quite natural. Everybody knows how much he has to eat or drink, how much he has to walk, stand, or take a rest, and go to sleep in order to keep the body healthy. It is the same way with those who have already become enlightened. They know how to take care of the body and the mind that still coexist with one another. But the heavy load that had oppressed the mind for a very long time has now been entirely discarded.

You must strive to achieve this goal yourself, for you are fighters, not cowards. You have to earnestly and seriously fight the kilesas, by putting all of your efforts into the meditation practice. You should not be doubtful of the magga, phala, and Nibbāna. Why must you be doubtful? Every aspect of the Dhamma teaching taught by the Lord Buddha is for achieving the magga, phala, and Nibbāna. His teaching doesn’t aim at futility. Why are you doubtful? This doubt is the work of the kilesas designed to lead you astray. You have to be confident of the magga, phala, and Nibbāna, and confident of your ability. You must use chanda, satisfaction; viriya, strenuous effort; citta, concentration; and vimaṁsā, investigation in your practice. You must not practice blindly, lacking in satipaññā. If you do, you will never achieve your goal. You will only amuse the kilesas.

(Ajahn Maha Boowa “Forest Desanas”)