Cause for Schism (Part 2)

We have to make comparisons and make assessments so that we can see things clearly. Then it will be possible for us to struggle with them. Why can’t we dig and search and come up with the Dhamma, so that we can use it to compete and wrestle with the kilesas? When we are inclined to apply reason and Dhamma to liberate us from dukkha, we will surely achieve this one day. It will happen inevitably to one who likes to contemplate and reason things out for the purpose of liberating himself by using whatever logical arguments that he can come up with. People do not become brilliant from the first day of their birth. We all carry ignorance with us, as we are all born in the midst of the kilesas that cause all living beings to be ignorant of the Dhamma.

To become wise, we have to depend on Dhamma, our teacher, and the work of disciplining and training ourselves. Our behavior and bearing will steadily rise above average as the heart becomes steadily developed due to our exertion. For this reason, the work of development, learning, and hearing, are extremely crucial. We can be really captivated and enchanted by listening to the Dhamma of a teacher whose practices and attainments are indisputable. For one who has truly become enlightened, he will not speak with uncertainty and vagueness that will cause doubts to arise in the listener. Whatever he says is always true and valid because he has already truly experienced them, both the ways of practice that he has cultivated and the corresponding results. So when he talks about them, like the Lord Buddha when he expounded and proclaimed the Dhamma to the world, how can he be wrong?

The Dhamma discourses that can be accounted for number only 84,000, which as I see it is very small indeed. I really agree with what Tan Ajahn Mun said about this matter. He said that the Dhamma found within the scriptures is comparable to the water filling a jar. The 84,000 Dhamma discourses are comparable to the water inside a jar. It is hardly a great number. But the Dhamma not found in the texts is similar to the water in the ocean. How wide and how deep is this? And how great is the difference between them? He knows about this because he practiced every day of his life and was experiencing and perceiving the Dhamma every day. The mind was really impressed with these dhammas and was able to understand their various aspects. The depths and profundity of his Dhamma is immeasurable, for his mind was no longer involved or entangled with anything. It was the mind of one who had already attained freedom. He said that it was a great pleasure and very gratifying to experience these dhammas. The mind is like a large fish in the ocean that has plenty of room to move around as the ocean is very large and extensive and the fish is enormous. For the heart that has attained ultimate purity, how can its Dhamma experience be limited to a certain level of profundity and subtlety? There is no bound and limit for this heart. It can freely and easily go anywhere, for there are no longer kilesas to entangle and shackle it.

When it is tied up with and constantly surrounded by the kilesas, then it is not possible for it to roam about freely. It is totally restrained and prevented by the kilesas from going anywhere. The kilesas are all over it. One lives and thinks with the kilesas. One’s thoughts all go in the way of the kilesas. Everything is influenced by the kilesas, making it impossible for the Dhamma to appear. But when the kilesas have been totally vanquished and one attains freedom, then it will be just like Tan Ajahn Mun had described. Wherever he sat, the Dhamma experience arose continuously. He was convinced that the knowledge and insight that the Lord Buddha and the noble disciples who had attained freedom must have been immeasurably extensive and enormous. Their Dhamma experiences are like the sky and the oceans that have no bounds or limits. He said this based on his own personal experience. He had complete faith in the enlightenment and wisdom of the Lord Buddha and the noble disciples. He said that he had no doubt at all. What I wrote in his biography was just a brief sketch of the essence of what he said. When I listened to his Dhamma talks, I was so captivated. It was very impressive and pleasant to listen to, for it was the ‘one who knows’ who spoke. This is what Dhamma is like.

When the mind cowers, it really cowers, and when it is gloomy, it is really gloomy. When it is overpowered by the kilesas, it can become really gloomy. But as soon as one has eliminated the kilesas, the elegance and serenity of the mind will then appear. These qualities will be realized inside the mind. When the kilesas steadily diminish, then these mental qualities will steadily appear, because they are an integral part of the mind. The reason why they are not apparent is due to the filth that envelope them. The mind then becomes filthy, corrupted, worthless and undesirable. Is dukkha desirable? How then does it manage to overwhelm our hearts? Nobody wants dukkha. But we cannot avoid experiencing this dukkha, as it is inside our mind, and we are not yet capable of eliminating it with our sati, paññā, saddhā, and viriya. We, therefore, have to endure it.

In any case, we are fighters and must not retreat. We have to be firm and strong, as this is very crucial for us. We have to train ourselves to be earnest. Don’t be frivolous and vacillating, like a post that is stuck in a pile of buffalo dung that keeps falling down. Don’t toy with your practice, for then you will never be able to come up with any result. Whatever you do, you have to be serious, really commit yourselves, for you are the practitioners. If you are serious and earnest in what you do, then you will become powerful. When it is time for you to exert yourselves in the work of overcoming and eliminating the kilesas, you must be serious and earnest. When you are serious and earnest with your other tasks, it is not only fruitful for them, but it will also be fruitful for the mind and fruitful for the work of eliminating the kilesas, because it will also make the mind serious and earnest. This is vital.

I have to talk to you about this out of my concern for you although it is inconvenient for me. I put in my effort to teach you because I have already seen the harm of the kilesas and have seen how they trample and damage the heart. Sometimes they trampled all over me right in front of my eyes, as I didn’t have the strength to resist them. But when I was able to muster up enough energy, I then attacked them at full force. I was seething with rage and vengeance, but as I was not able to fight them, I was forced to endure them. But I was really enraged and boiling inside. However, when I had accumulated enough sati and paññā, I then went on the offensive.

When I had established enough sati, I was able to make the mind attained calm and free it from the confusion and madness inside. I then felt relaxed and at ease. This is samādhi, or the state of calm. Once the mind has attained calm, then it will become restful, comfortable, satiated and not craving for anything. After it withdraws from the state of calm, if you tell it to investigate and contemplate with paññā, it will do so. It is unlike the time when the mind is hankering and craving for things. The mind will not investigate with paññā and come up with anything worthwhile. It just keeps beating around the bush and turning the investigation into speculation. Whatever it investigates it will turn into speculation. That is why the Lord Buddha said that paññā that is being supported by samādhi is of great result and benefit. Samādhi acts as the sustenance for paññā. Once the mind has attained calm and investigates with paññā, it will be paññā. The level of paññā will correspond to the level of samādhi. This will keep steadily progressing until paññā becomes incisive and brilliant.

The more one comes across one’s results of practice, then the more one will become motivated. When one becomes wise and discerning, then nothing can slip through one’s investigation. This is when one’s mental strength has matured to the ultimate level. There will be no retreat. In the beginning stages, one is submissive and is trampled on by the kilesas. The kilesas keep on crushing one’s head. Regardless of how infuriated and enraged one might be, one has to endure it because one doesn’t have any strength, sati, and paññā, to counter them. So during such time one has to give in to them. This was when my mind hadn’t yet established any foundation. The kilesas then kept on trampling on and crushing me in all postures, standing, walking, sitting, and lying down. I could not find any peace and happiness. I went through enough of these experiences myself so I am telling you straightforwardly. It happened to me. Even while I was doing nothing, the pressure inside was so intense. I was burning hot within, like a fire burning rice-husks, burning and smoldering deeply within. I wonder how it managed to get to be like this. I kept on observing it, but it remained like that as I didn’t have any sati and paññā to unravel the kilesas. I just had to endure. However severe this blaze and dukkha was, I had to endure it. No matter how offended I was, I had to put up with it. It was useless for me to become enraged, but I did not relent in striving until I came across the state of calm.

Once I had attained calm, I then went on the offensive. To enter into samādhi would be very easy for me. I did not have to go through the usual routine. I could enter into samādhi right away. This is the time when I became very adept with samādhi. The mind is now always ready to enter into samādhi. The samādhi that arises from sitting practice and is totally devoid of any thought is one type of samādhi. Another type called samādhi bhāvanā is the samādhi in which the mind remains calm but still thinks with the mind firm and stable as a rock. That was how firm my samādhi has become. By entering into the state of calm frequently, I was able to make my samādhi solid and firm. This is the way of nurturing samādhi. After withdrawing from samādhi, which I use as a way of resting the khandhas, I can see very clearly that my samādhi is very firm and solid. I’m now ready to go on the offensive drive. If I intensify my effort in the development of paññā, it will not take long. But instead, I become attached to samādhi. I’m now so skilful I can enter samādhi any time that I want to. It takes less than a minute to do it. As soon as I prompt it, the mind will go right into samādhi because I have already securely established samādhi. So it is very easy and quick to stop all mental activities and enter into samādhi right away.

If I developed paññā, I would advance very quickly. But I instead became attached to samādhi, by mistaking this samādhi as Nibbāna. I therefore paid no attention to the development of paññā. It took Tan Ajahn Mun to shake me out of this delusion. When my mind was free from this delusion, it then became very energetic, ready and well qualified. With that kind of samādhi, how can it not be ready? The samādhi of that level is very suitable for the development of paññā. Once the mind begins to develop paññā, it will do it relentlessly. It will realize the truth that will enable it to destroy all of the kilesas. I now become awe-stricken with the power of paññā, for I can now see it clearly in my mind, which further enhances my efforts. All the laziness has totally disappeared.

Please understand that on the level of samādhi one can become lazy, because one does not want to investigate. One just wants to rest in the state of calm and comfort. This is the lazy kind of samādhi. But after Tan Ajahn Mun goaded me to investigate, and I have learned how to investigate, then the diligent effort just came naturally. But for me, the mind tended to go to the extreme. Once it had begun to develop paññā, it was not able to go back into samādhi because it was no longer interested in samādhi. The mind just kept turning around incessantly investigating and struggling with the kilesas. Sometimes this went on throughout the night and I didn’t get any sleep, and in the daytime I couldn’t sleep either.

When I did the walking practice, I was not able to walk straight, for I kept crashing to the ground. This was due to the lack of sleep, because the mind kept on investigating and fighting with the kilesas, taṇhā, and āsava. As far as surrendering myself to the kilesas was concerned, it is out of the question. I would rather die. The only way that I can be defeated is when I die. Giving in by retreating simply cannot happen. It is not possible. It can only happen if my head is cut off. Defeat can only occur if I lose my life. To give up by retreating is just not possible. Once you have attained this level, this will happen. I am just telling you the truth. I am not boasting. I am speaking the truth of my practice, how I developed, how I exerted myself, how I had to wage an uphill struggle and how lazy I was. I was carrying the burden of the kilesas, taṇhā, and āsava, and enduring the fire inside my heart, both day and night, standing, sitting, walking, and lying down. This fire had never been separated from my heart.

Once I had trained, disciplined, and developed my heart by earnestly exerting myself, enduring and persevering, my heart was then able to attain a state of calm and became strengthened. I was then able to drive harder. I could now intensify my effort in my practice of mental development. The calm would gradually increase and became more and more profound until I thought that it was Nibbāna. I became smug. Once the knowing becomes densely concentrated, then there is no thinking. It is as if the world does not exist. What remains is just this sublime and profound knowing. I therefore speculated that this is what Nibbāna would be like. Fortunately, I did not claim it to be Nibbāna. I just speculated that this would be Nibbāna. It was only after I had investigated with paññā that I was able to discern what this state was. How could it be Nibbāna? When paññā had been thoroughly investigated, I could then see the kilesas that were still hidden in the mind. They had merely been resting, merely been temporarily subdued by the power of samādhi. But as soon as they emerged, they would be immediately eliminated by paññā. Paññā doesn’t promote the growth of the kilesas. It only destroys them. Paññā will keep on advancing. This is the way it is with the mind of this level.

(Ajahn Maha Boowa “Forest Desanas”)